hellooo world....here i am...so much better than yesterday...=)
hahah, after "somethingWrongInMyMind" i was crying after write my last post, don't know why, my confused feeling became primary focus who destroy my heart, and before i slept yesterday, i sent him a message that give him news, i'm not in the good mood, so i can't sleep, what i need is his shoulder to cry on..i don't know the time i sleep, maybe i was so tiredd when i cry...
and after 2hours, he's reply my message, rememberring me to take a breakfast, have a spirit for my job in the morning, ask what time i sleep, say that i have to be patient wait him, and he say thanx for my calling this night, he's loves me and smoocchhh(ok, we are long distance relation ship for 7 month, and i have to wait 4 month again, with 5 hours different time, ocean, continent, but everything's in the line, we have good communication, and feel trust and strong commitment, both of our family have known our commitment)..i read that message, i smile, but i'm not reply as soon, coz i'm too tired on this morning, then i sleep again..
ok, i finished my job after 2 hour meet 7 medical patient with variety case..i try too concentrate too my job, actually, i have no time to reply his message, event i read my book about happiness project, i can't read that book coz my working time is over..
it's just spontaneus action, when rush on my mind jump on my brain, i feel in other world, i meet much people, but i'm not contact with them, i just live in other world, my own world, sounds autis rite?and after i have a time, i reply his message, say i'm ok(maybe better), but still not full recovery(i'm proud that he doesn't ask me what the problem, coz he will know i became sad again, and remembering all that rush) with the rush feeling, i go to beauty center, take a new haircut, then take a creambath package, with body scrub and massage...oh god...i'm feeling so good and fresh..and i sent him a message that i fully recoverred now, and this my lunch time...(in my time), i drrink frozen cappuccino, and chinese seafood menu..and at this time i fell so lucky, coz God give me what i need at this time, when i'm stress with that stupid little stuff yesterday, God give me chance too be relaxed, have a good food, and freedom to arrange my time, windows shopping, buy new book, and i feel i'm so lucky...when i realize, in this world, i can't get everything i want, but i will get everything I NEED..that's so much important, what i need...then why i have to judge God, to give me everything i want but i never need it???it's OK, i realize, that's "littleStuff" yesterday just the "manMock"..(the first suspect reason in my mind)..and i believe one thing, the first will always be the logical reason, and i laught at my self, how stupid i am...i hear that"littleStuff" (maybe read at this case), from other person(not from him), and it's sound a joke, when i re-think...
ow...here i am, with a new haircut, a new point of view, and more logical than before, i'm still in love with you darling, like i say yesterday, and i keep my trust in you (it's hard to do), and i believe that you'll keep it safe (God Protect me), if you've been create to complete my life, the way is always open for us..no matter how far, how long i have to wait, you'll be back to me again, and i have to make you fall in love in me once more time, so i have to be a woman who has "theRight" ToMakeYouFallInLove again...so i reparate my mind, care to my beauty, off course my carrier..
--luv n miss u always--
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